Easter Holidays

I wanted to spend as much time as possible with them both as there'll probably not be another time like this.  We went to indoor soft-play centers, swam, chilled at home, brought Isaac to see Cbeebies live and celebrated Caitlin's birthday.

Carrot harvest from it being planted a year ago - we dare not eat it

The Cbeebies show was not what Isaac expected and he was bored, asking to go home at the interval.  Maybe I should not have said we were going to see Justin and all his friends as he expected lots of talking and laughter, while the show was more of a song and dance performance.  He kept saying there were too many songs mummy!!  The highlight of the day was getting you a double scoop icecream :)

Breastfeeding saga take 2

I think it is about time I write about the whole experience for remembrance now that I have passed my goal of BF for one year.  Next week this time, it will be my first day back at work, and I can look back at the whole journey and laugh again at how silly I was.

I remember telling myself and everybody after stopping BF Isaac that there's no way I will go crazy about BF again with the 2nd kid.  I said I will be chilled, not worried, top-up with formula and just enjoy the first few weeks/months.  How wrong was I.

The birth was perfect and the first week bliss.  I was confident and full of adrenaline, wondering what the fuss was about taking care of 2 kids.  It all came crashing down when Caitlin lost 13% of her weight and was very jaundiced, bad enough to be admitted for observations and repeat investigations.  In hospital, I was riddled with guilt and questioned myself, how did we end up in this position?  So began the spiral of worrying about weight gain, whether I had enough milk and whether she took enough.  Of course I could have topped up with formula but I do not know why I was so obsessed about wanting and needing to exclusively breastfeed directly (even pump and feed was not good enough).  It was certainly an unhealthy obsession and pride on my part of wanting to achieve what I perceived as 'best' (Isaac was always topped up with formula on his last feed end of the day).  After hassling all my friends with texts and whatsapp messages, it sounded like she had a latching problem and I should pump to increase/maintain supply.  First, I loaned a pump from hospital and then bought a double electric pump and began on a pumping and feeding frenzy.  Thank God for long suffering husband, Isaac, parents and sisters :)  I was crying all the time and abandoned everything else apart from needing to feed Caitlin.  On one hand, I wanted to only BF her while on the other hand I was constantly worried about her weight and wanting to teach her how to use a bottle.  So I would give her a bottle of EBM here and there and there was no routine at all.  It was a nightmare living with me.  In addition, Caitlin was a much more difficult and fussy baby (up till now) and would only latch while half asleep or half awake.

After 3-4 months, I just fed her on the breast (finally stopped worrying) and forgot about the bottle.  What a mistake as she did forget about the bottle and so began the journey of reintroducing the bottle to her just before she started nursery.  She wasted so much milk!!  Persistence did pay off as now she does take a bottle (after ~6 weeks of trying), although only pitiful amounts of 3-4oz a day.  Maybe she just doesn't like milk.  I am still feeding her at night and mornings as she refuses to take the bottle at night.  It will just have to be cold turkey when I start my on calls.  Poor Richard and Isaac will be needing ear plugs but am sure all will survive :)

Perhaps this experience is similar to all BF mums?  It does make me wonder if breast is always the best as so much is sacrificed.  I lost out on lots of time with Isaac (as was constantly either feeding or pumping), was severely sleep deprived and constantly worried about whether Caitlin has had enough.  There's definitely the immunity and antibodies advantage from BM but does this benefit outweigh one's sanity?

Here I ask myself again, IF there were to be another child, will it be the same story all over again?  Richard has already said 'Of course it will!!'  The truth is I don't know, and there are no plans to find out.

Center Parcs

We decided to go on a family holiday before Isaac starts formal schooling in September.  Everybody talks about how center parcs is a really good family holiday destination, but is a complete rip off during the school holidays as they increase the price by more than double.  So, we took Isaac out of school 2 days early from this Easter break and headed to Sherwood Forrest.

It was superb!!  Lots of cycling, walking climbing and swimming.  I can't remember the last time we swam everyday for 5 days.  After the 3rd day Richard and I were like, can we not go to the pool area anymore.  But Isaac always won.  No wonder it is dubbed the swimming holiday by him.  It was Caitlin's first pool exposure and she seemed to love it.  But maybe 3-4 hours a day for the week was too much for her as she became ill after that ;)  Richard and I loved the water slides but that didn't interest Isaac as much as just wanting to play in the big wave pool.  The first water slide experience probably shocked him as it was a steep 45 degree slide which he literally flew into the water.  No wonder it was once and never again :)  He did go on all the other slides many times (as Richard and I had to take turns as Caitlin was not allowed on any of them).  

Weeks before the holiday we were bombarded by emails every few days asking us to book activities.  So we arranged for an activity a day which was bowling, kids jet-ski and a dinosaur workshop.  I felt a little cheated by the dinosaur activity as it was advertised that they will be making wooden models.  It was only cardboard 'pterasaurs', and a few art and craft things surrounding dinosaurs.  Weather was not perfect but thank God it was dry most of the time so the outdoor playground was a hit.  On hindsight, it would have been equally enjoyable without any of the booked activities.

This was supposed to be the 'wooden model'

Just realised that there's not a single shot of family photo :)  They are definitely hard to come by.  Where to next?

Caitlin is one

The first birthday is always a major milestone and what a journey it has been.  Thank God for His goodness, and for giving Richard and I wisdom, strength and patience in bringing you up. You have been such a blessing and have enriched our lives with a different experience of bringing up a girl.  Having 2 kids is more than double the joy (and work too ;)) but so worth it.

First family selfie

Your koko had been telling everybody that you'll be one from about a month before your birthday.  He chose both cakes (the one for our private celebration, and for your party).  He was very sweet, saying that he will blow the candle out on your behalf as it is too dangerous for you, and you didn't know how to blow yet.  He also helped with planning the party and making the invite list as he wanted all his friends to be there.  Well, it was like his party as all our friends were parents of his friends :)

Thank God for the great weather, we had a great party!!  Thanks to my sisters and Justin and friends who all made the celebrations so special.  Wish SW and the grandparents were here too.  We partied from noon till after dinner :)  The slight unfortunate thing was that you were ill and was really clingy and moody the whole day.  All you wanted to do was to probably rest/sleep but instead was constantly asked to smile and entertain everybody.  Poor you.

Like your koko says, 'Caitlin is one, she's no longer a baby anymore'.  You really are growing to be a little determined princess who knows exactly what you want :)  You understand commands like no, sit, give, come, bye-bye, flying kiss, but may chose to just ignore.  You also know the actions to the songs 'wind the bobbin', 'row row row your boat', 'wheels on the bus', 'twinkle twinkle' and can brush your teeth and just started to take a few steps with the walker.  It is really fun seeing you and Isaac play, and Isaac having to 'give in' to you when you want something of his as you would just let out a loud cry :)  Wonder how long will it be before the real fights begin?  For now, I will let you both continue to amuse me.  Happy birthday my little queen!!

Pancake day

Another delayed post.  4th of March was pancake day and school must have told you about it as a few days before it, you already mentioned that you wanted to make pancakes.  So, that's what we did and I was really impressed that you could flip pancakes :)  You really enjoyed flipping it as you asked to make pancakes a few more times after that.

Good combo of you making and Caitlin eating

Happy Mother's Day to me!

Thank you Lord for the opportunity to be a mother to 2 such wonderful kids.  Please continue to give me wisdom and strength in bringing them up!!  I got a cooked breakfast :)

Portrait of me

School had slideshow of students with their moms

My carpet lounger and other stories

It was PTA just before you finished for Easter.  Thankfully, you got high praises for everything and is doing really well.  But, just before we left, Mrs F commented 'Ah, but he still loves to lounge on the carpet'.  Hhmmm.. you continue to have this bad habit.  When we got home, we asked you how you lounged.  Your reply was 'like this (then proceeded to lie on the carpet and sighed a loud AAhhhhhh), but when Mrs F comes in, I quickly sit up (and proceeded to bolt up)'  But looks like you've always been caught in the act ;)

Yup, my homework of 'Belvedere Bear came home' a few weeks ago

One day in center parcs,

Ric: Wow Isaac, you've played a lot today

Isaac: But Daddy, that's good!!  Mrs. F says that children learn through play!!

How can we not laugh to that reply?

We are trying to divert your interest into other things rather than just dinosaurs.  So in center parcs, with lots wildlife and bird trails available, we tried to get you interested.  You did show a little enthusiasm and said 'Mummy, I want to leapfrog all about birds when we get home' (It was first through the leapreader by leapfrog that you got so engrossed and into dinosaurs)

Yes leapfrog, maybe you all can consider doing a series on birds? 

It was Mother's day last Sunday.

Ric: Isaac, should we get some daffodils by the road for mummy?

Isaac: No dada, you have to leave them for the bees!!!

Me: Think you better learn from Isaac!! :)

One night while singing one of the 'mother's day concert in school' songs to me in bed,

Isaac: Mummy, mother's day is next week, when's Father's Day?

Me: Father's day is in June

Isaac: Why is there no children's day?

Like in most households, mornings are a rush and so you commonly finish your breakfast in the car on your way to school.  It's interesting how you think as this was what Richard was asked one day.

Isaac: Dada, do you know why there's traffic jam on the way to school?

Ric: Why? 

Isaac: So that I can finish my breakfast!!

We pray with you every night to try inculcate a habit of thanking God and also to pray for things.  Thank God that you do understand prayer as one night before bed after Ming left, this was what you prayed 

'Dear Jesus, please let the train arrive safely in London and don't crash'

You have an excuse for everything!!  Richard told you off again for kicking your legs onto the back of the front seat and dirtying it to which you replied 'But dada, it is the body's fault for controlling the legs to kick and dirtying the car'.

One evening during dinner, you suddenly mentioned 'Mummy, I want to live on earth forever'

Me: No Isaac, we all die one day

Isaac:  But I still have a long time on earth because I am only a kid

Me silently in prayer 'Dear Lord, please let this be true'

I am so proud of you my boy, and can't thank God enough for how much you have enriched our lives.