1st Tantrum

It was the first time last night we both did not know what to do with u while u screamed your head off for 10 mins. It felt like hours.. It may have been our fault for keeping u up too late and agitated u by giving formula first without breastfeeding. I was trying to put u to sleep first before dinner to have an earlier bedtime for you. But u were still wide awake at 8.30 and we were so hungry. So we decided to eat first and bout 9 plus before we brought u into the room again. U were very tired. So, to 'help' you not waste time and get to sleep earlier, I thought just give you formula without breastfeeding and my goodness, that sparked it all off and you refused everything, from breast, to bottle to being pacified. Boy, you have shown your colours :)

Simple joy in life

Watching u sleep peacefullyAlso wishing that u will last at least 4 hrs at night to give us both enough sleep

Development and growth

You're almost 3 months now. This is what you have been up to that makes motherhood more rewarding:
Reflex smile - 2-3 wks
Real social smile - 5 wks
Chuckle/laugh - 10 wks
Coo - 6 wks, Babble - 9 wks
Hold yr head steady - 5 wks, very steady at 11 wks

To try encourage you to do mini push ups, we have been putting u more on tummy time recently, of which u hate and will cry after a few minutes. But finally u have learnt to hold/lift yr head up high - 11 wks
You still are not able roll over or turn yet. Should still be careful where i put u now though.

Growth wise:
Birthweight - 2.88kg
12 wks - 5.15kg
You seem to hover at the 9th centile and am always wishing that you will go towards the 25th centile. Well, maybe I should be plotting u on the Asian charts to see where u stand. I still can't be expecting much I suppose with both yr daddy and I being quite small ourselves.

Going places

Since birth you have always been carried and thus is spoilt with a capital S. So, the solution is to carry you around with slings/carrier. We had a gift of a sling. In addition to that, your daddy also wanted to carry you around and thought the sling was too sissy for him, so we invested in a baby bjorn 2 weeks ago. Its a good thing we got that coz looks like we will have to use it when travelling to London to make your passport. No way are we bringing your buzz along..

The never-ending saga

I have always wanted to breastfeed and was so stressed out at not being able to completely breastfeed in the beginning. However, I settled with the idea of giving you as much breast milk as possible and was happy to breastfeed and then top you up with formula. You would gulp down all that is in the bottle in about 5 mins after feeding on the breast for about 45 mins and I will *sigh* and wish one day you will not want the bottle.

How wrong I am as from this week, you started refusing the bottle after a feed and I am far from happy with wondering why you don't want the bottle and worrying that you are hungry. Is it because everybody has left, temperature of the milk, the teat, or are you already full? unfortunately, you also wake up lots more at night which makes the both of us very tired, and mess up the day routine as you seem to be hungry bout 1.5 hrs after. Can't believe that u went from preferring the bottle to preferring the breast. So, the question remains - what do I want to do? :)

First week alone

Its the end of 7 days without the help of the greatest parents and parents-in-laws around. It has been hectic and tiring, but thank God we are all still sane and in one piece :) I am sure Isaac missed all their company and vice versa. It was from 11 people, to 4 people and then just richard and I. You may be bored at looking at just our faces as you did not stop smiling and cooing at Ming-Wei when she visited this weekend.

Starting young

No pressure - daddy says :) U did seem very interested though and was focusing on each page

Swimming Time

U screamed when u had your first bath in hospital. Its a very different story now with u kicking and loving your 'swimming time'. U are also outgrowing your bath tub now with u constantly knocking yr head when u kick hard and push yourself in front. Time to enter the big bathtub soon?? We need to look into alternatives.

Your favourites

You are totally amused by the mirror. You always smile and laugh at your own and either of our reflection and reach out to touch your own hand. Wonder what's going on inside your head when you see the mirror. We do this everyday and one day you will realise that its yourself you are looking at :)

A few toys always make you laugh without fail - eeyore the donkey hand rattle, little bumble bee rattle (nicknamed bob by your daddy) and the new bye-bye bear book puppet.

You also like the mobile gift by gong gong and popo. Keeps you entertained while changing and you have since learned to track it when it moves. Hope you don't learn that a hippo is purple in colour and lions are bright yellow.

I cannot do without the mini play gym and bouncer (nicknamed baby OSIM coz of the vibration) too!! Keeps you entertained and allows me to get some things done, especially now that its just me and you in the day time.. I think you like the both of them coz you stay in it for up to an hour (once so far ;)) without yelping for attention. Yes, you do yelp and that sounds like at 'EIK, EIK' very loudly.

Isaac Kia Yi Zhen - 2 months old

We are beginning to understand you more and you are beginning to form your personality - I think.. :) Its not only bout feeding and changing now. You smile, coo, try to hold a conversation, laugh or cry in your dream and respond to us playing with you. Motherhood just became more fun, except waking up in the middle of the night, sometimes twice, to feed.n

You are most cheerful in the mornings and wake up with a smile most of the time, then cry when u realise u are hungry. Still, after a feed u are very happy!! very unlike us, your parents who are not morning people and love lie-ins.. Yehyeh and Mahmah had a good time playing with u every morning while mummy gets more sleep until the past 2 days. Am sure u all miss each other.. I also miss the morning naps.. :)

Another big step was getting your jabs.. I think we were more worried than u with buying thermometers and calpol just in case. But, u proved to be very good with just a yell and then was more 'manja' and sleepy the whole day. Thank God u had no fever.

What happened to my life?

Well.. its been a blink of an eye, and suddenly realise that its the middle of november. Where did the past 2 months go?? There's so much to write but so little time (may journal it all down in retrospect when there's time).
Looking back in summary:
- gave birth to a gorgeous boy Isaac Kia Yi Zhen (very proud of him, especially when he smiles)
- getting through feeding problems (still an issue and is the reason for lots of stress and crying)
- worrying bout isaac (ate enough? why not sleeping? is he developing well?)
- sleepless nights = not functioning with the right frame of mind
- had to squeeze some time to do research work to meet datelines for publications and meetings

I have to adjust to this new life as this little bundle will be with me for the rest of my life. I have got the choice to either wallow in this 'zombieland' for even longer or get a grip of it and move on making him a part of my life. As I have dedicated Isaac to God, I should relax and trust God to take care of things.. I need to have more faith and worry less. I am sure there will be mistakes made here and there but suppose that's the nature of motherhood and I should not beat myself up too much when expectations are not met.

Breastfeeding obsession

Time has flown and its the end of the second week now. The second week was tough with me falling ill from exhaustion and trying to establish breastfeeding. Although still slightly 'zombiefied', I think I am getting the hang of what life will be like having Isaac around. Everything revolves around him. Apparently its suppose to get easier as time passes and routines sets in. However, I still do not see that yet.

The most troubling and anxious thing was trying to establish breastfeeding. I thought my milk did not come and thus was referred to the infant feeding advisors who suggested immediately supplementing with formula, which surprised me. I followed the advice and it was breast-feeding, pumping and trying to get rest all in 3 hour cycles. It was frantic and tiring. Unfortunately, I saw signs of Isaac getting nipple confusion with him not wanting to latch on anymore. Well, I would do the same if I could get food from a bottle which was so much less effort than to suck from the breast. So it was frantic phone calls to friends who have had babies and all advised the same - to cut off the supplements and persist with just breastfeeding. So, that is what I have been doing since. Thankfully, I think milk's available and please Lord, do not let Isaac lose weight when he gets weighed tomorrow. He is showing all the signs of a healthy baby and I only want the best for him.

The first week

No amount of reading and preparation could have prepared me for the experience of the first week. Isaac was a good boy, and slept through the first night. I had to put on the alarm to wake him up for feeding. It must have been the diamorphine that doped the both of us. I was drifting in and out of sleep after the delivery. But, the next 2 nights were bad where Isaac did not sleep at all. I remember texting Richard at 7am asking him to make sure he comes at 8 sharp as I had not slept for the whole 12 hours. It was the same story in our first night home. Thinking back, he may have been hungry as I have lots of problems with breastfeeding (another post altogether).

For the next few days, nights and days merged together where it was cycles of feeding, changing, trying to catch up on sleep, putting Isaac to sleep, getting used to the whole new lifestyle etc.. It was difficult. I am so grateful for the support from richard, family and 2 friends (u know who u are) that kept me sane. But, am sure it will all be worth it.

Labour

All this is writing in retrospect. Yes, the pain became unbearable at midnight 2 saturdays ago and I went into hospital for some entonox. I was found to be only 4 cms and fully effaced then and knew it was going to be a long, difficult night. I wanted to be 'macho' and try without an epidural but little did I know about the pain of labour. It was the worst pain I have ever felt and Richard thought I lost my mind!! I succumbed to an epidural when I was nearly fully dilated and I was a changed woman. I could even chat on the phone and labour was beautiful thereafter. Pushing was amazing and our precious little boy, Isaac, was born on the 27th September at 11:26am, weighing 6lb 5oz.

I noticed bruises on my hands the next morning from all the knocking and clawing around the side rails of the hospital bed. I can smile when I think about the pain now but it was definitely not pleasant then and not something that I want to go through again. If and when God blesses again, I would definitely get an epidural from the very beginning.

The time has come

Am currently in-between contractions while writing what possibly could be my last entry for quite some time. Yup, the time has come and am in labour. God could not have had better timing. Yesterday was Richard's last day at work and will be off for the next 2 weeks. I really wanted him to spend as much time with baby Kia as possible and was praying very hard and how awesome of God to bring me into labour this weekend itself.

We are very excited with the prospect of welcoming this little bundle. But, labour is not called labour for nothing. However, the cycle is interesting. The pain is severe when it comes and time seems to stop, then when that wave is over, I can continue doing what I was doing before as if nothing has happened. That is how this entry's written :)

Interesting traditions

It's been nearly a week since my mom's arrival. Unfortunately, no sign of baby Kia yet. However, the last week's been quite interesting with going around all the shops and buying ingredients to prepare for the 'confinement period'. I have never bought so much ginger in my life.. nearly 10kgs!! There's also 2 small pot of 'sweet wine' brewing in the cupboard, home-made. It is quite amazing to see wine actually forming, and the aroma's quite nice. We also bought guiness stout to bath the baby in, and mom arrived with 2 bottles of DOM for me to drink. Hhmmm... there seems to be lots of alcohol involved. We also fried rice with ginger to make our own 'rice tea' to be drunk after delivery. Apparently, I am only supposed to drink that and red dates drink coz its much healthier. What happened to water?? I wonder if these traditions will follow on for another generation?

The last night

What a scary thought... Tonight's the last night of 'just the 2 of us' for as long as I dare to imagine for now. My mom's coming tomorrow (am really looking forward to it) and then will hopefully be not too long before baby Kia makes an appearance and be welcomed into the world. So, we really should cherish tonight and spend some quality time together. This is why we are both still up now, not wanting the night to end :)

Exactly 38+3 today and still counting

Cotbed in place

Both your daddy and mummy-to-be was hard at work today putting your cotbed together. Boy, was the drop sides hard to fix and get right. Well, that was the last of things to get ready for your arrival. So yes, you can come out anytime now.

Getting into position?

Baby Kia, you did a flip from Right to Left over the weekend. You were always kicking on my Left and in the middle of Friday night, I felt you turn. The whole weekend, the kicking was on my Right side which felt unusual :) I thought it was you getting into position for your head to be engaged deeper and I got excited, thinking that this may be the first sign that labour could happen (although I have never heard of this before). But, nothing happened and you flipped back to your usual position last night and all the kicks are now on my Left again. Was that attention seeking? :)

Mixed feelings

Last Friday was supposed to be the official day of finishing work where this week and next should be my annual leave and then my maternity leave starts. This is not the first time that I say goodbyes and 'leave' a job as I have changed so many hospitals in the past. However, it felt really weird and different clearing the desk and backing-up all my data and information this time as it is not about closing a chapter and moving on to a new rotation. This is still very much an 'open chapter' and I know I will be coming back to this job in about 6 months time after a life-changing event. The problem is not knowing when this 'event' is about the happen and I want to 'complete' as much work as I can beforehand. Thus, I do not know how to feel: happy to finish work? anxious and worried as there's so much 'unfinished business'? torn between preparing for motherhood and 'completing' work? or frustrated at the feeling of uncertainty and not being able to 'close' the chapter of work. I may not be making lots of sense here but its exactly how mixed-up I feel at the moment.

I did wake up late today. However, after checking my email, there were so many things to sort out at work that I went about doing it straight away and worked from home almost the whole day. I did not mind as I want to complete as much as possible before the baby comes, but, where do I draw the line? when all I hear is people telling me to 'put my feet up and rest'.

What's in a name?

We are still toying around with the chinese name. Not only is there the 'han yu pin yin' to suit how to 'pronouce' it in English, there are also lots of chinese characters with the same 'pin yin' which are all meaningful and have to decide on one. There's also the concern about funny sounding names in the different dialects. But, like Richard's aunty said, 'its better to have a good heart rather than a good name as its the heart that makes you YOU' (the mandarin version of this phrase sounds much better and more poetic and this is my feeble attempt at translating it ;0)

Anxieties about labour

Dear Lord.. I pray that You will give me the strength and perseverance to go through the whole labour. Please let it go smoothly and let there be no nasty surprises. Please keep the little one safe through his most dangerous journey in life. Please let the pain be bearable and the delivery be quick. Yes Lord, do be by my side throughout the labour when it happens.. AMEN

I thought I should be well prepared, but to realise that I will be on the 'other end' this time has made labour suddenly very REAL. But, I know there's nothing I can do except to wait for it to happen and when it does, depend on Him and trust Him :)

The countdown begins

We have entered the safe zone, 34 weeks. If you decide to come out anytime now, there should hopefully be no problems. Of course its best if you wait a few more weeks, until help arrives and we are better prepared, but not too long coz its getting very uncomfortable now.

You seem to be able to kick my diaphragm and punch my bladder at the same time, creating a weird sensation, sleep is disturbed as I get up 2-3 times to wee and the breathlessness, backache and pubic discomfort's started. I think generally there's not enough room. I have to say this is the first time I am actually 'complaining' about the pregnancy coz it has been really good so far. Still, I love the feeling and sight of your movements (when its not too vigorous) which reassures me all's well. An example of baby dancing inside:

1st of many baby laundry

I finally took out all the bodysuits, sleepsuits, mittens etc from their packaging to wash them before packing them in the hospital back in preparation for his arrival. The tiny bodysuits are the cutest thing ever!! Can't believe babies are that small when they are born. Daddy-to-be commented about the possibility of the minute mittens getting stuck in the washing machine. Hhmm.... Well, everything may be small but they sure do still take up loads of place, AND time to hang, piece by piece....
Quite obvious that we're expecting a boy? :)

Lessons learnt

Just arrived back from our supposedly last holiday as a couple in Dublin. However, I think junior wanted some attention and reminded us that we are no longer 'just the two of us' but he's also part of the 'family' already :) It was not exactly the holiday we had in mind. After the 5 days in Dublin, I learnt that with a baby on the way:
- I need to expect the unexpected, although everything seems to be normal
- The body undergoes lots of changes that should not be ignored
- Priorities will change
- Our lives will be dictated by junior from now on (even before he arrives)
- Panic may be a feeling experienced more often than I intend to
and so, I better pack the hospital bag this week, just in case :)

Saying all that, the wedding that was nearly missed, but thankfully attended in the end was amazing, memorable, personalised and we really enjoyed ourselves despite everything else that was going on...

New toys

The car seat and quinny have arrived!! We were both so excited and 'played' with it the whole night. We are quite impressed by the turning circle of the pushchair as we could push it around to and fro our flat (which is not big) but the adapters are a little stiff. Maybe it just needs to be used more coz its new. We are really happy with it so far and can't wait for the little one to come out so we can start using it!! Ohh.. the seat unit is SOOOooo comfortable but the whole unit is a tad heavy.. :) sounds like an online review right??

Ever changing front

It's so frustrating trying to get the best outfit and look good for my friend's wedding next week coz of the ever expanding front and belly. Although the dress has been bought (thank God it still fits), trying to accessorise it tastefully to look chic is quite difficult. Maybe pregnant women in formal dresses are meant to look a little 'ah ma'? It can't be too short or too tight coz it would just look 'wrong', and this means that more or less it's a huge piece of lacy cloth (my dress) that needs to fall nicely over the body, which just will not. Oh well, I suppose there's a huge difference in dressing up when I'm not pregnant and 8 months pregnant and hopefully there's the 'pregnancy glow' to cover it up.

Check list completed

Finally we have bought every essential item that is needed for your arrival. What a relief, after browsing in shops, on the internet and getting advice from friends who have 'been through it' for the past month. Only thing left to do now is to pack the hospital bag. Richard's always been asking me to do that coz he keeps reminding me that he came 2 months early and it may run in the family. Well, I hope you don't do that coz we are looking very much forward to our holiday next week!! :)

Baby Shopping

What a weekend!! We had so much fun buying baby clothes and essentials. I had to resist buying everything I saw coz they are SO CUTE, but costly.. considering they only wear it for a few months.. It was also good to have sisters as fashion consultants today and 2 weeks ago. What's surprising is the huge price difference in things from different shops. Walked a total of about 10 hours in the 2 days, and the body and legs are feeling the effects of it now :) Well, at least if baby decides to come early, we are prepared, apart from the car seat, cot and bath tub.
Please let the car seat that we want come back into stock!! Also awaiting for the pushchair to come next week so that we can test it out!!
The tired but satisfied me :) No more clothes shopping for baby until he comes.

Images of You

After much thought, I decided to ask for another scan although it was purely to have a glimpse of you in 3D. Thank God my consultant was gracious and patient enough. It was certainly worth asking :) Seeing you so clearly was unbelievable. Its all so real and you will be in my arms in a few weeks.

Will be 'buzzing' around

We have finally decided and bought the Quinny Buzz 3 in racoon colour. Well, how we came to that decision's too long to put on the blog. Let's say that we have tried and tested nearly all the pushchairs available in the market. Even after deciding on the Quinny, the kiasu me needed to search everywhere for the best buy available. So, it was a drive down to Manchester after work on Monday to order it through a friend. Thankfully it's one major thing sorted and now cannot wait for it to arrive!!

30 weeks

It's the final countdown stages of pregnancy. It was 30 weeks yesterday and it was marked by our first parent-craft class. I have to say it was quite boring but we had fun looking at all the different positions for delivery, something that I am totally NOT used to and may not be too comfortable trying them out. Well, will just have to see how it goes when the day comes.

Your movements are now very obvious where my tummy changes shape as you move, a little like the alien movie :) Quite an amazing sight. Apart from that, you are also getting stronger as can feel my whole tummy shake/jerk if you suddenly kick hard. Although its not painful, it can be quite shocking, especially when I am just chilling. All good signs that you are strong and healthy. Thank God.

10 weeks seem really short and I am looking forward to your arrival but am still stuck at the pram stage of shopping - how?

Scan shy?

We went for another scan 2 days ago. We were really looking forward to it and had great hopes of getting more 3D pictures of you. Alas, after nearly 2 hours of waiting, you were found to be in the wrong position for scanning and could not get good pictures of you at all, not even a single 3D image. Boy was I disappointed. Well, like your daddy-to-be rightly says, thank God you are growing well, everything looks normal and its only going to be a couple more weeks before we see you face-to-face!! Really looking forward to that. Just don't be shy when you come out ya? The new camera's just arrived today and you will be the main model :) Will probable test it out on me first though, so that we will be familiar with it when you are here.

Where's the perfect pram?

The amount of research and time spent trying out the different pushchairs/prams is more than the time I spent looking for a new car or house previously. Why is there no perfect one? Its either trendy and modern but way too heavy, looks really comfortable but does not have the important features of practicality, is practical but does not look as cosy and comfortable or just way too expensive. How to choose between the Buzz 3, Xcursion, pliko pramette, silvercross 3D, Loola up? The whole weekend spent on the internet, mothercare and mamas and papas and yet no decision made yet. Baby, which one would you like?

Pushchair/pram is only the first on the list. There's lots more to go. Well, I really need to decide quick and move on.

New Shoes!!

Baby, as the first kid of the 'next generation', think you will be quite pampered. Your aunty-to-be arrived today with a pair of crocs for babies!! Even I do not enjoy such luxuries :) I have to say they are VERY cute but it will be quite sometime before you will be making use of them. At the moment, what's more important is to get you the basics of a pushchair/pram, carseat, cot, some clothes, bathing things, etc.. the list goes on. Thank God the sales are now on. Hopefully we will be able to get some good buys tomorrow as we start the shopping spree for you. It's better to be prepared just in case you come early as will be hitting the 30th week.

Lesson on priorities?

Work has not been the most pleasant and encouraging these few weeks. I constantly find myself asking God, why put me through all this when pregnancy is supposed to be relaxed and enjoyable? Although there's still no clear answer, I think I may be learning about what my priorities are.

Another explanation: just the hormones again.

A slight panic

Now I know how important you are to me.
Over the past few days, I have been waking up about 2 times a night. I have no idea what wakes me up but you will always be kicking, probably the reason for waking up, and making it hard for me to go back to sleep. Is this the beginning of disturbed nights? Hmmm...
Last night was no different except that you did not kick!! I started prodding around but there was no response. A feeling of fear and dread drifted in. I went to the toilet, but still nothing. I then drank cold water, but still no effect. I know it was silly of me but still, things like that do happen and I have seen it before. I was so worried and kept prodding but somehow drifted back to sleep. Next thing I knew, it was 6am. I started prodding again and felt only a slight movement. I started praying and wanted to go to hospital to check things out, but I was alone. I kept asking you to move and kick, and me tossing and turning to try 'stimulate' you. I was so worried and immediately told Richard when he came back post-nights. Thank God you were back to your usual 'active' mode during breakfast. When I think about last night now, I just smile and think about how silly I was. Baby boy, you do not know how much I love you!! Maybe I should not complain about you kicking so much at night :)

Mouse Hunt

What an amazing feeling to feel your limbs (not sure if its the hands or feet) moving/kicking under the palm of my hands. I will press it and then it will move away. So it has become like a game now to feel you kick/move, then we will try 'tickle' it and then you will move it away and we will try and find that limb again and do the same. Reminds me of the game 'mouse hunt' that children play. The interaction with you have gone up another level :) Oh, there's also your hiccup-ing that's really cute.
Lord, You are just so amazing and creative.

Heat Wave

The past week was the hottest and most uncomfortable I have ever felt since coming to UK. The air is still, its sticky, sweaty and I can't sleep at night. It's bad enough that there's no fans and air-conditioning. In addition there is a constant 'hot water bottle' around.. Baby, thank God your temperature is well-regulated and not dependent on the weather. Apparently there's cooler weather this weekend and really looking forward to it. Its started raining now and boy, am I glad to see the rain :) Some cool breeze pleassseee...

The big three 'O'

We celebrated the daddy-to-be's 30th birthday yesterday and today. Being the more 'sociable' one, I did my best to convince him to allow me to organise a party to commemorate the day but unfortunately failed. His wish was to have a quiet, romantic dinner - just the 2+1 of us :) So like Richard.

So for the night before, I attempted a restaurant style home-cooked dinner and smoked the whole house :) For tonight, thought to bring him to a proper restaurant as I knew which restaurant he wanted to go to (an italian seafood restaurant that we wanted to try) but unfortunately do not know the name and so could not make reservations. So, we just went there and lo-and-behold, it was closed on Monday. So, was his favourite Japanese restaurant and another restaurant. Why do they all close on Monday? So we ended up back at a new restaurant on Lark Lane, outside our home. We did have good food and an enjoyable evening. We also noticed that there are no prams or babies in restaurants. So this will probably be our last 'posh, romantic' birthday dinners in restaurants for a few years to come. Happy Birthday!!

A pregnant father?

The most enjoyable times of the day is at night before we sleep and in the morning just as we wake up because you will always be kicking away and the daddy-to-be (and me) loves to feel you moving around. So, he suggested this morning: 'Maybe the duration of pregnancy should be split between both parents, so that the dad can also feel the sensation of baby kicking and moving around'. I wonder if he wants to share the pain of labour too?

Emotional roller coaster

The physical changes to my body have so far been pleasant and enjoyable (especially the kicks) but the emotional ups and downs.. that's another story. Poor Richard, he cannot never tell at the end of the day when he sees me after work.. will it be miss happy or miss weepy tonight?? I do not know myself most of the time.. Well, he's had it easy so far coz I never had PMS. So, he's only got 3 more months of this bipolar mom-to-be :)

Our first home

Over the past few weeks, we have been viewing houses with a possibility of moving to a bigger place with more rooms and a garden. After much contemplation and discussion, we will be having our place valued this week to be put on sale if 'the price is right' after nearly 5 years.

Feelings of nostalgia flooded over.

This is our first home: painted, furnished and decorated with our sweat, laughter and tears. We started our lives together as a couple here. Making this flat into a home taught us so many lessons and helped us discover characters and skills in each other... just too many to count. This home has seen many parties, meetings and guests. Putting the finishing touches to the decorations over the weekend actually brought a tear to my eye. We will definitely miss this place when it goes to somebody else and we find a place to move on. Well, am sure it will be a new beginning for us as a family of 3 :)

A long weekend break

The initial plan was to go away to Cornwall/Devon coast to have a romantic getaway weekend to celebrate both our birthdays before there's going to be 3 of us. However, after so many hectic days and weekends, the thought of driving for 5-6 hours down South, the need to 'plan' the holiday and having still lots of 'chores' to complete made us both just turn to each other and said 'lets just spend some time at home'. So thank God we have 2 extra days to this weekend!!

We did go to the beach, although this one's only 20 minutes away.. :) still, it was a new beach we have not explored, relaxing and Antony Gormley's 'Another Place' was something Richard had always wanted to see. Staying in Liverpool was a much better option.

Age of viability

It's another milestone this week. You are 24 weeks old. If anything were to happen and you needed to come out from the comfortable oven, there's a big chance that you will survive in the real world!! I hope you won't want to come out yet though... Do give us more time to prepare as parents :)

It is also now quite obvious that I am pregnant rather than just being a little on the chubby side. The good thing is everybody around is more careful and the sudden attention is quite nice.. So, maybe its a good time to flaunt the tummy rather than try to hide it as it's still possible with very loose tops. For example.... now you see it, now you don't

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

As the nursery rhyme goes, this 'humpty dumpty' had a great fall outside the flat. Thank God she could be put back together again, apart from a large bruise on the bum and a lump on the head. Although I knew the baby should be OK, it felt like ages waiting for him to give me the familiar kicks again.. Phew.. The combination of a growing bump and imbalance with a slippery floor is just catastrophe. Thank God its not the winter months. I may have to go out padded and with a helmet each time.

There are more important things

*Sigh* I hope the feelings of frustration and struggles at work over the past few weeks will not be passed on to you.. I am trying to smile and be cheerful so that you, baby, will not be affected. I know its not good to be sad during pregnancy but well, suppose its all part of working life, being in research and being an adult. Oh how I wish otherwise.

Little one, I want you to know that you are more important than anything in the world!! Thank God for your vigourous kicking everyday that helps me smile, get me through another day and know that work is not everything. I really do wonder what movements you are making in there and wish I could see them :)

Burnt like a lobster

What a glorious day today!! it was 30 degrees and everybody was outside with picnics and BBQ and we were no different. After lots of food, freesbie, football, cart-rolling (I only participated in the food bit that will contribute more to the 6kgs already piled on) and 5 hours later, we were all red like lobsters!!! I only realised this after showering when it was obvious there are 2 colours on me..

Then it hit me.. baby Kia must have had a warm bath!! I really have to be more careful about what I do next time. There's 2 to think about.

Birthday weekend

Last birthday prior to being a mom. Thank God for the good weather and I have to say it was a really enjoyable one. It started with a day out in Lake District. Surprisingly, there were no leg cramps, muscle ache or backache after the hike in Lake district as expected. Maybe it was the fresh air that was full of oxygen? or simply because it was an easy trail. The weekend continued with a spa day with my sister and ended with a bank holiday lie-in.. How relaxing!! I don't think life will be like this for much longer and so cherishing every moment of it!!

Crazy idea

We have been mulling over names for our little 'beanie'. I have to say its really difficult to come up with the 'perfect' one. Well, your soon-to-be daddy came up with what he thinks is a superb idea. Since you are beginning to hear now, he suggests calling you by a different name every day and see which one you respond the most with kicking to. Are you confused yet ??!!?!

Growth spurt of baby Kia

I have reached the half way mark this week and am no longer able to hide the growing bump. However, it was only in the last 2 weeks that this bump seem to have suddenly doubled in size. Yes baby, you are certainly growing. Strangers no longer think this is fat as its obvious there's a baby involved, and friends are tempted to start rubbing the bump now that its more obvious.. Everybody also seem to want to 'do things' for me as I am the 'tai tou po' now. So, maybe I should just take advantage of these remaining few months, just sit back, relax and be pampered.. :)

Already changing lives?

Since becoming pregnant, everybody's been telling Richard and I that our lives will change forever. So, we have been planning little trips whenever we can to see and do as much before you arrive to take over our lives. Still, we very much look forward to that day a few months away.It started with the first May bank holiday where we drove down to London to meet friends of more than 10 years. Interestingly, we did not do many touristy things and ended up spending most of the time in Hamley's and Papas and Mamas. Hhmm.. have you started to take over our lives already? We also ate lots, while my stomach can still expand before you occupy my whole abdomen.


On the way back, we dropped by a friend's place to visit their new born baby girl, Olivia. She was so sweet, cute and beautiful. But, it was amazing seeing how she, less than 2 weeks old, tiny but commanding all our attention and dictating all our actions. We both had a little practice session of how to handle a crying baby :) Yes, there will be lots of adaptations to be made....

A mummy's boy

The wait to find out if you are a prince or princess was over yesterday when we had the anomaly scan. Let's say that you were very proud to be a boy and wanted everybody to know.. :) Thank God that everything's normal and you are growing well. Thanks to technology, we saw you so clearly and can't wait to cuddle you. Only another 4 months to go and we will savour every moment of the pregnancy left. Daddy-to-be can't wait to play football and games with you :)

The end of heels and a new fashion statement

Think its going to be about now that I have to stop wearing nice heels (ie: thin stilleto type but not too high) and just stick to comfortable shoes. My ankle's still aching from the walk in town after church, and in addition to that, ankle cramps at night, don't think its worth it at all. So, its another thing, after my shirts, bras, jeans, trousers, that needs to be shelved away until... hhmmm... I don't even dare give a time frame.

So its going to be shopping for shoes now, after having spend quite a lot on new tops. Baby.. you ARE changing my body!! and its beginning to show now. Everybody's commenting on my new sense of dressing which is a very loose top, with a belt just below hip to gather the bottom together, to give it some shape so that I do not look as if I am wearing a table cloth. I have to say its quite nice and I think this 'fashion' will last us lets say, another 2-3 months?

DIY weekend

What a weekend it was, full of activity and exercise!! we did cleaning, measuring, shopping, drilling, sawing, building, giving away stuff, rearranging etc.. It was VERY tiring, but fun, all in preparation of the arrival of this little one, squirming and moving inside me. We have heard that yes, you may be tiny but take up LOTS of space, and all the time in the world, so we better prepare now, when there is still some time to spare :) now, there's an additional chest of drawers in the bedroom, a new shelf in the kitchen and a new cupboard in the living room, among other smaller things added here and there... 'little growing beanie', think you should be honoured :)

Was it flutterings?

Its 15+4 and I thought I felt you moving, or was it just the bowels? But it was more than once and I know that its about this time that I can start feeling you.. Well, only time will tell, and will just have to be patient.
Currently, I love lying down at night before sleep and stroke the little (and growing) bump that is protecting you and growing as you develop in it, such a joyful feeling.. Thank you Jesus for bringing us this far and pray that things will continue to go smoothly..

The In-Between

I now understand what people mean when they say that it can be a little awkward between 14-20 weeks. Its a little too early for maternity clothes and yet fitting into my own clothes comfortably is near impossible. Yes.. its definitely the in-between.. Thanks to a great tip from a friend, tube tops now have a new use (since they can't fit my upper body nowadays anyway) and I think its rather fashionable, :) and supportive too I may say.

Little baby, just waiting for the day that I can feel your movements now as it should be near..

Beginning of 'The Bump'

A little bump can now be evidently felt above the pubis bone (Not that anyone else can see it yet) The baby is clearly growing and fitting into trousers is beginning to get a little more tricky. Thank God for slightly longer tops which allow me to get away with not doing up my top trouser button :) Work shirts are also getting a little obscene and am beginning to only wear sweaters.. There will be excuses for buying new clothes soon.. ;)

From 'Little One' to 'Baby Kia'

Seeing you on Monday was surreal. I know that was not a dream. Referring to you as a person now comes so naturally.. You looked complete and contended, just moving around (lots, by the way) in your own little world.. :) Moving so much that it was difficult to photograph you..

Honestly, the bonding has begun, the fear of losing you is gone and am just thankful to our Father who has brought us this far as a family.. I am even beginning to talk to you now. Can't wait for the day when I can feel your movements ;) I pray that He will continue to watch over us and may you continue to grow into the perfect person He has already made you to be.

Dream, dream, dream

Sleep in the past week has been filled with the most bizarre dreams.. its so real that sometimes when I wake, I have to remind myself that this is reality. Funnily, I remember the dreams when I wake up, tell Richard, and then by later that day, it will be impossible to remember what the dream was. So, I have started writing a dream diary, for me to look back and smile at them in a few years.. Little one, look what the hormones that is sustaining you doing to me.. :) Makes sleep more interesting though.. ;) I wonder when they will stop??

Just the '3' of us

Its back to richard, me and the little one growing in me.. :) The weekend was about cleaning and sorting out the place and preparing for normal work next week.. Something that really blew me away was how easily tired I become.. Just not the usual self.. well little one.. who else are you going to draw nutrition and energy from to grow anyway ya?? Am sure it will all be worth it.. :)

Family visit

Can't believe its coming to the end of my first trimester.. Should I consider myself blessed that I have had it so easy?? where I have not vomited, had minimal nausea and my only pregnancy symptoms were tiredness?? Maybe Richard is the lucky one.. ;) Not having to satisfy any weird and wonderful cravings.. I wonder where will he find me assam laksa if I craved for it? The downside of it is worrying about the pregnancy coz I feel SO WELL... apart from feeling a little fat..

My parents are still here for the week.. It was so much fun to see my sisters and just spend time with them.. I am sure I will have more than a child, coz siblings are a JOY and they do become your best friends when older (although that thought never crossed out minds as a kid).. Hopefully there will be more visiting when this little one's born.. :)

Thought for the day: to remind myself to be constantly cheerful!! The baby will be feeling all my emotions soon.. :)

Beginnings of a new life

Had my booking scan yesterday and saw for the first time our precious one's tiny limb buds and movements!! It's SO REAL now and the joy and excitement overwhelms. We were both a little surprised as the baby was 9 weeks plus rather than 8 and so this gives us a week less to prepare. I am sure God will prepare us. We are both looking forward to having another scan in 3 weeks. O little one, I am sorry for intruding into your little world but we can't put new imaging technology to waste... :)

First Thoughts

The reality of going to be a mom in October finally hit me this weekend.. Our little 'beanie' baby is going to be a child!! The excitement of this new journey will no doubt be building up day by day as we head towards THAT day... Thank God for providing me with my soul mate, best friend, and life companion who will walk on this journey with me everyday.. :)