Social Activities

After the first cancellation, the baby massage classes started. It was still snowing the day of the first session but I was adamant to go after I called and found out it was going ahead. Surprisingly everybody turned up despite the snow. Maybe all mothers want a reason to go out?? You were very quiet but I think you enjoyed it. The best thing is you napping after that in the car seat. It was the first time you napped without me either holding you or in bed. You have been less quiet since then in the sessions but still very well behaved. Not surprising, since you always are when out :)

The same group also went for walks and we went to one in Calderstone Park. Another reason to get us out of the house for some fresh, cold air. I got to know a BBC with parents from Malaysia and we just clicked. If not for going back to Malaysia, we will definitely be going for more walks.

Friday is the BF support group and we go after getting you weighed. Think the best thing you like about it is the amount of toys available, although you still do not dare and is not sure how to go get them yet.

There's also the swimming classes. However, since it was bitterly cold, I have not brought you for any and its too late now as we are going back. It will be much more fun swimming in the sun in Malaysia though.

Thanks to the children centres we have been kept occupied recently. But, there will be lots more activities and fun waiting for you back in Malaysia. Just counting down the days now. The sad thing is not being able to go for these events when we get back coz I have to go back to work.

New developments

Last Saturday was the first time you flipped (actually more of a slow roll) while on your tummy to your back. I missed it the first time when your daddy shouted but thank God you did it again. Am so proud of you!! Now am waiting for you to do it the other way around.

There are actually quite a lot of changes turning from 3 to 4 months old (yesterday). You can play with your saliva, gurgle/babble alot more, grab toys above you in the playgym, amuse yourself, grab your legs and swing it left and right, look for me and smile when other people are carrying you, and flap both arms wildly when you see me approaching you in bed (wanting me to carry??).

On the bad side, you've been waking up 4-5x at night. Why, oh why??

Behind the scenes

The feeling of pride and joy swells up inside when I get compliments of how cute and adorable you are when you smile, laugh or play. However, I now know why all parents smile when they get these compliments - because behind these cute moments lie hours of tears, frustration and feeling of helplessness, and only we know how hard it is.

Yes.. today you were very naughty and was terrible :(

When will the saga end?

You're nearly 4 months now. On one hand it's good you're getting more inquisitive but on the other, breast-feeding you has become a battleground in the daytime. You will sometimes only drink for 2-3 mins before delatching and either look at me with the sweetest grin to babble or start screaming. It has made me wonder a few times whether it's because my milk supply is going down. So feeding is nearly all the time now with breaks for you to play or nap. Feeding before you nap is the best coz its always the longest. But it means I have to constantly stimulate you to wake you up, until I think you have had enough, then will allow you to sleep on. I know this is a bad habit and I will pay for it later but it works for now, so will stick to it.

Thus, I actually don't mind waking up at night to feed as it's more straight forward. Wake up, feed for about 30-40 mins and then back to sleep again.

Amidst all this complaining, your antics when breastfeeding are so cute and makes feeding bearable. For example, you will thump my breasts with your hands after a while of feeding and I wonder if this is to try and increase the flow, when you delatch and smile at me, you gurgle saliva and makes the cutest noise and when very hungry, you open your mouth widely, and move about to look for the breast, reminding me of a hungry bird.

Any suggestions?

I think it is getting wider :) Does this mean he needs to have long hair in the future to cover it up?? :)

Moving on with clothes

About 2 weeks ago was when I decided to stop letting you squeeze into the too small newborn or 0-3 months clothes. Although the bodysuits look quite cute when they're so tight, the sleepsuits do not allow you to straighten your legs (thank God you're about 50th centile for height despite being 9th for weight) and your fingers poke out when I try to cover with the attached mittens, defeating their purpose. So, with mixed feelings of sadness (I don't know why) and pride (yes, you are growing), I packed away those clothes and washed a whole new set of 3-6 months ones.

A long tunnel

After that one night, you have not slept through again. So the light is still dim and the tunnel must be long one :) Oh well, it was a once off bonus, better than nothing.. After analyzing, it may be because you hardly nap the whole weekend and was probably too tired.

Funnily, last night, you woke at 3 (only 2 hrs after feed at 1) and did not cry but started cooing, which woke me up. I wonder if you are prepareing for the time difference in 2 weeks plus time :) Since you did not cry I was too tired to feed again and left you alone. I fell asleep while patting you until you cried at 5. I wonder how long you were awake for?

Light at the end of the tunnel

I am so excited that I had to post this immediately.. Isaac slept for 5 hours in a row from midnight till 5am!! Was I shock when he cried and I saw the time.. It has NEVER happened before and maybe this is the beginning of sleeping through?? Even if this was a once off and pure luck, at least I have had my first 5 hour uninterrupted sleep since he was born :)

How life has changed

The title sounds obvious.. Of course life changes with a baby. But, I just realised the extent of it now that I have adjusted to this lifestyle and taking stock of these changes. I wish I can put a table on this blog so that the before and after comparisons are more obvious :)

Lack of sleep is definitely NUMBER ONE. Apart from last night, I have never slept for more than 3 hours in a row. I have just got used to and learn to nap to catch up with lost sleep.

The house is now not as tidy.. and this is with a helper who comes and clean it once every 2 weeks. So it's no longer the Ikea showroom that it was before. Eventhough on maternity, there is no time at hand. Cooking has been restricted to about half an hour with VERY SIMPLE meals, but hopefully more nutritious than takeaways. Doing the laundry has also become a 'game' between Isaac and me so that I can spend more time with him, coz a lot of time is spent on breastfeeding and trying to put him to sleep. This sums up my day: Wake-up, feed, laundry, feed, eat, feed, play, feed, sleep, feed, cook, feed, bathe, feed, sleep, feed, sleep, feed......

I need adult conversations and thank God for the internet, Skype and MSN. I would probably only know how to babble otherwise. People I talk to are mostly all parents now and the topic is almost always about baby - habits, feeding, growth, development, etc..and best place to get baby offers of pampers, or wipes, no longer clothes or shoes.

If I do get out, rarely, preparations need to start about 2 hours ahead and handbags are out of the question. The 'pouch' has to fit Isaac's clothes, blanket, changing mat, nappies, toys, etc... I also hardly eat out and if we do, it needs to be baby friendly places with wide space to fit the buggy. The freezing weather has become a good excuse to stay at home :)

Finally, gone are dates or time alone with Richard, apart from the hour or so after putting you to sleep at night. It was funny how our most recent movie at home took us 3 days to finish because it was interrupted by tiredness and you waking up crying for a feed.

Life will NEVER be the same again, but it's all worth while when he smiles to greet me in the morning :)

Why food and play should not be mixed

Helping me tell the time?

I always put you on the playmat when you're awake so that I can cook. Every 10-15 minutes or so I will run out, shout your name and check on you. I always put u facing the mirror so that you can entertain yourself. A few days ago, when I checked on you, you turned about 45 degrees, sometime later, you were all the other way around. You were like the hands of a clock going around. Is this a step towards rolling over?? Or a sign that you will be very mobile when you learn how to. You're still very lazy on the tummy though.

1st winter

How I wish you were a few more months older as I would be out making snowman and snow angels with you. Since arriving in the UK I have never seen this much snow before and such a shame to not be able to play in it. If you were not here, I think I could have managed to convince Richard to go out and make a snowman despite the cold. But now, you've become a good excuse to not go out and play in the snow at all :) Hopefully there will be lots of snow next year!! We may even put you in a sleigh..

Unfortunately, being snowed in also meant missing your first baby massage session, something that we waited in queue a long time for and really looking forward to.

Good days and bad days

Motherhood is all about good and bad days. It is always remembering the good days that gets me through a bad one.
Good day - wakes up 3x at night, plays and feeds according to schedule, naps for at least 1 hour, takes some formula when given, poo, falls asleep quickly at night (all not too much to ask for right as that's what babies do?)
Bad day - none of the above.
Thank God for the internet so that I can let off steam to another mother who knows what I am going through :)

The saga continues....

By the grace and strength of God I am still breastfeeding. Since not taking formula, you wake up about 3-4x at night and there's no daytime routine with you not feeding for long and so easily distracted. So, feeding is more often. At the end of December you did not poo for 5 days in a row!! Of course I was very worried, especially with me not being able to tell how much you are taking from the breasts and you not wanting to take formula. Daily I was standing on the scales to make sure your weight did not go down and daily I reported to Richard when he came back from work that you still have not BO. He was totally chilled and said it will come. Gosh.. thank God you pooed on day 5, the day before we went to London. It was my christmas present from you :)

Now, I know that if I can trick you to drink 4-5 oz of formula a day, you will poo once daily. But, its a skill to get you to take it. You have to be half asleep but still sucking, and then I have to delatch you and put the bottle in straight away gently so you still think you are on the breasts (we had to buy new bottles/teats coz you totally rejected the tommee tippie ones). I only get one chance and if you realise the switch, you will not take formula. Maybe its getting used to the idea but now I am OK with you not pooing daily. It will be tough when the time comes to stop breastfeeding but hopefully there will be other ways to get you to take the bottle.

1st New Year

Your daddy had to work but we got an invitation to a party at a friend's place. I said I was going to arrive late coz wanted to feed you and put you to sleep first so that I could maybe have some adult time with all the church friends. However, even at 8 you were not wanting to sleep so I decided to just take you and go and hopefully you will fall asleep in the carseat on the journey there (u usually do). U did!! I carried you in the car seat to not awaken you but your eyes shot open the moment I took the handle. Maybe it was the cold. It was freezing!!

The whole night you were so socialble!! Smiling and laughing at everybody and trying to join in conversations when being passed around. I am sure you are bored with being alone with me at home. I kept trying to put you to sleep at hourly intervals but there was no chance. At 11 your eyes could hardly open and everyone could see you were struggling but you perservered on :) a party animal in the making??

1st long journey

It was to London not to meet the queen but to make you a legal Malaysian citizen. The trip was solely purpose driven with no other agenda as there was no way we could go back to Malaysia for CNY without your passport. The thought of travelling with you was more than a little scary PLUS, it was supposed to be one of the coldest day in UK.

I packed the night before. We had a small trolley bag with all the 'just in case' stuff. Thankfully you woke up at 4 to feed with little hassle and the journey to the embassy smooth. It was a VERY close shave but we managed to have your passport done. We managed to catch up with my friend, Irene and Albert, and you met your friend, Isaac too!! He was a month younger but was bigger than you. However, you were much much louder and Irene was shocked you could make so much noise.You also made your presence known in one of the poshest restaurant where we had lunch. We had no choice coz the embassy was in such a posh area and it was too cold to walk far. Maybe its because you hardly slept since you woke up but you cried and cried, very unlike your usual self when out. It was quite embarassing since you were so loud and there was no place to change you except between the sink in the toilet!! Mental note: only family friendly restaurants from now on. It was also exhausting trying to entertain you on the train journey back. It was only 2.5 hours. Another mental note: Be prepared with lots of toys for the trip home with minimal transit time.

1st Christmas

These posts are way overdue.. Why? Because there was no time to write and upload the photos.

You missed a white christmas by one day. Actually, it was still white, but it was left over snow from the day before. I was too tired to put up the christmas tree but in the end was coaxed into it by your daddy to 'complete' your first christmas experience. Unfortunately I could not get anybody to dress up as santa claus and your presents were from other people. Your overtired parents were too lazy to go out in the cold to get presents for you :0 Well, think our sacrifice of taking care of you these 3 months hopefully counts much much more than any physical present we could have bought for you.
Thank God Ming Wei, Justin and Lily were here for they prepared a superb christmas dinner. If not for them, it might have been a take away. You enjoyed the night with all the company!! You even sat in your bumbo raised on a chair so that you could 'participate' in the dinner.. With the hat on, you were the little king of this household.. for now that is :)