Caitlin - 15 months

In another 2 days and you will be 15 months old.  It was such a milestone when you reached 1 year old, but life has got so much better and easier now.  You truly are the little queen of the house, but also bring lots of laughter and joy with your cheekiness.

You babble non-stop and calls 'mama' and 'dada' to us, and points to Isaac when asked where's koko.  You also point to yourself when asked where's Caitlin :) You love 'flying kisses' and 'waving byes', and sticks out your tongue when asked to.  You shout 'Mummm, mummm' when you see food, and frantically points out with a finger to ask for it.  You babble non-stop to yourself lots and maybe you'll speak sooner than Isaac?  From a motor point of view, you have only just learnt to stand on your own and is yet to take your first step.  However, you're lots more confident now with furniture walking and makes us 'walk' with you while holding your hands up.

Similarly to Isaac, you love food.  I have stopped cooking your own food now as you refuse to eat them.  You much prefer the rice, noodles, pasta and dishes that we eat.  You also LOVE anything green, such as cucumbers, avocado, broccolli, peas, spinach and beans.  It's funny how Isaac passes you the peas to eat coz he doesn't like it and knows you will wallop it down for him :)

Your love of food

I thought to put you on the 'toilet seat adapter' to poo as I always know when you're going to do it as you strain so hard, so that I do not have to wipe your bum and the mess after.  Thankfully, you somehow have got the idea now.  I wonder if it is just coincidental but you have never pooed in nursery or outside.  Are you waiting to only do it at home?

Will only poo at home on her throne

Both look forward to this everyday

Blessed with so much clothes

The best part of motherhood now is seeing the both of you play and laugh with each other.  It is really funny how you both try to make each other laugh and when one giggle or laugh, it sets the other one off.  So joyful!!  You both adore each other, especially Isaac to you.  He protects you lots and even asks me to not get angry with you when I raise my voice at you when you whine or cry too much.  I think it has been more difficult caring for you compared with Isaac as you are much fussier and 'manja'.  I suppose that's the different personalities of boys and girls? The both of you have also very different characters, and hopefully it will compliment each other as you both grow up side by side.  I love you both so much!!

Precious weekends

Weekends have become so much more cherished and special since I've gone back to work.  Thank God it is summer and the weather has been mostly amazing.  So we've been 'picnicing' by ourselves or with friends most weekends, in Otterspool, Walton Hall Park, in our back garden or in friends' back garden.  Simple things but so fun.  With wimbledon around the corner, we could not resist the urge to try out tennis lessons for Isaac, which he really enjoyed, but we're still undecided about whether to start him at this age.  We also went to Acorn farm last weekend as a celebration of Richard's birthday and Isaac went on his first horse ride.  This weekend was Isaac's school summer fayre and was another fantastic day out.

Selfie while Caitlin naps in her pram

Caitlin will eat anything that Isaac eats

'Bungee' in Walton Hall Park

Trial tennis class

Chicken pox

Within a week of me being back at work, Isaac got his first spot of chicken pox.  Call this perfect timing?  How was I to explain that I need to be off again after having 14 months off?  Thankfully everybody was understanding and Richard and I took turns to be off to care for both of them.  They had them more than 2 weeks apart.  Caitlin had more spots, was more ill, and 'suffered' the ordeal more.  At least I am done and dusted with it now.  We did think about vaccinating Isaac but changed our mind, which on hind sight was a good thing coz he had it quite mild and was quite unaffected by it, apart from feeling bored at home.  At that time, it was too young to vaccinate Caitlin anyway.

Back to work

Directors of the household

Can't believe it's been more than a month since the last entry.  What can I say, it has been back to work since the 8th of May and there's hardly a free moment.  Life is quite different from when I was off on maternity but thank God we are all finally adjusting.  Caitlin settled into nursery and enjoying it; Isaac spending everyday in after school club and seeing much less of me; Richard having to take care of the both of them while I'm on call, including nights; and me, getting used to being back at work and trying to maintain a household.  It is not easy but Thank God for His strength and faithfulness!!

More classic expressions from Isaac

I was in the bathroom upstairs with Caitlin and Isaac and shouted to Richard for some help.  Isaac tried to help and shouted to Richard: 'Noo dada, it's OK, it's OK. I got it sorted out!!'  Richard came up anyway and we both burst out laughing as he said in an adult voice 'I got it sorted dada, you can go back downstairs!!'

We have a small 'chat' before he sleeps if he throws a tantrum in the morning when trying to wake him up and get ready for school.  On one of these days,
Richard: 'You made mummy and me quite sad this morning when you threw a small tantrum'
Isaac: 'I know.  But it is very complicated to wake up early in the morning'
Think he was trying to use bombastic words? ;)

Richard was in US a month ago and told him that he needed to be the man of the house
Richard:  'Isaac, you need to help mummy and be the man of the house when dada is not around OK?
Isaac: 'Nooo.. I don't want to be the man of the house. I want to be the boy of the house'

While watching a TV programme, I tried to give him a commentary of what was going on as I thought it may be a little too advanced for him
Isaac: 'Mummy, I understand!!  It is in English!!'

While planning for Caitlin's party, he picked some blue and boyish design napkins too and said 'Mummy, we need blue things too because there will be boys at the party!!'

McDonald's was giving out some toy dinosaurs with Happy meals and so we got one for him.  It was however quite a 'cartoon' version one
Me: 'Wow Isaac, another dinosaur!!'
Isaac: 'It is not a real dinosaur mummy.  This one has a big nose and there is no such dinosaurs with big nose.  This is a toy!!'

Easter Holidays

I wanted to spend as much time as possible with them both as there'll probably not be another time like this.  We went to indoor soft-play centers, swam, chilled at home, brought Isaac to see Cbeebies live and celebrated Caitlin's birthday.

Carrot harvest from it being planted a year ago - we dare not eat it

The Cbeebies show was not what Isaac expected and he was bored, asking to go home at the interval.  Maybe I should not have said we were going to see Justin and all his friends as he expected lots of talking and laughter, while the show was more of a song and dance performance.  He kept saying there were too many songs mummy!!  The highlight of the day was getting you a double scoop icecream :)

Breastfeeding saga take 2

I think it is about time I write about the whole experience for remembrance now that I have passed my goal of BF for one year.  Next week this time, it will be my first day back at work, and I can look back at the whole journey and laugh again at how silly I was.

I remember telling myself and everybody after stopping BF Isaac that there's no way I will go crazy about BF again with the 2nd kid.  I said I will be chilled, not worried, top-up with formula and just enjoy the first few weeks/months.  How wrong was I.

The birth was perfect and the first week bliss.  I was confident and full of adrenaline, wondering what the fuss was about taking care of 2 kids.  It all came crashing down when Caitlin lost 13% of her weight and was very jaundiced, bad enough to be admitted for observations and repeat investigations.  In hospital, I was riddled with guilt and questioned myself, how did we end up in this position?  So began the spiral of worrying about weight gain, whether I had enough milk and whether she took enough.  Of course I could have topped up with formula but I do not know why I was so obsessed about wanting and needing to exclusively breastfeed directly (even pump and feed was not good enough).  It was certainly an unhealthy obsession and pride on my part of wanting to achieve what I perceived as 'best' (Isaac was always topped up with formula on his last feed end of the day).  After hassling all my friends with texts and whatsapp messages, it sounded like she had a latching problem and I should pump to increase/maintain supply.  First, I loaned a pump from hospital and then bought a double electric pump and began on a pumping and feeding frenzy.  Thank God for long suffering husband, Isaac, parents and sisters :)  I was crying all the time and abandoned everything else apart from needing to feed Caitlin.  On one hand, I wanted to only BF her while on the other hand I was constantly worried about her weight and wanting to teach her how to use a bottle.  So I would give her a bottle of EBM here and there and there was no routine at all.  It was a nightmare living with me.  In addition, Caitlin was a much more difficult and fussy baby (up till now) and would only latch while half asleep or half awake.

After 3-4 months, I just fed her on the breast (finally stopped worrying) and forgot about the bottle.  What a mistake as she did forget about the bottle and so began the journey of reintroducing the bottle to her just before she started nursery.  She wasted so much milk!!  Persistence did pay off as now she does take a bottle (after ~6 weeks of trying), although only pitiful amounts of 3-4oz a day.  Maybe she just doesn't like milk.  I am still feeding her at night and mornings as she refuses to take the bottle at night.  It will just have to be cold turkey when I start my on calls.  Poor Richard and Isaac will be needing ear plugs but am sure all will survive :)

Perhaps this experience is similar to all BF mums?  It does make me wonder if breast is always the best as so much is sacrificed.  I lost out on lots of time with Isaac (as was constantly either feeding or pumping), was severely sleep deprived and constantly worried about whether Caitlin has had enough.  There's definitely the immunity and antibodies advantage from BM but does this benefit outweigh one's sanity?

Here I ask myself again, IF there were to be another child, will it be the same story all over again?  Richard has already said 'Of course it will!!'  The truth is I don't know, and there are no plans to find out.